what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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