Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
