I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
