We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
