I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
