I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
