look no pants
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
