He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
