umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
