bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
