To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize