i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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