i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
