That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
