I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize