Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize