She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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