What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
