I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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