Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
