I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
