Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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