Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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