Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
