Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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