We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
