I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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