Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
