Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
