we made out on top of his cat.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
