She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
