You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
