His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
