I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
