I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
