when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
