Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
