Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize