Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
