omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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