Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize