Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
