he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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