do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
