she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
