Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
