You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
