Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
