I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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