Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
