She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
