so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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