you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
