he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
