hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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