When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
