he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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